Perspective from an adopted adult

I was recently asked by a friend to write a perspective on being an adoptive adult.

This is my post.

"What I want you to know about being adopted....

"I don't feel abandoned. I don't feel unloved. I don't feel like I was bought or purchased. I don't feel like I'm missing something. I feel like ME. I was born on June 26 - I have blonde hair and green eyes - I am 5'8 - and I was adopted. Just another fact about me.

"I was adopted from Edna Gladney adoption agency in 1982. I was an infant. I was my parents, who were unable to have biological children, second adopted child. Though I am not sure I have ever heard anyone in my family ever say 'this is my adopted child' or 'this is my adopted granddaughter' I am simply their child. Their grandchild. Their niece. Their cousin.

"I have always been proud to of been adopted. I have a wonderful Mom & Dad. I know this sounds cliche but they are truly the best. I couldn't of asked for better parents. They taught me the difference between right and wrong, the value of a dollar, how to work hard (and play hard too), but more importantly they loved me unconditionally. They didn't try and change who I am. Since I can remember I've always wanted to find out more about my biological family. Not because I needed a mom or needed a dad. I wanted to tell her thank you. Thank you for her sacrifice. Thank you for her choice. Thank you for being you. I wanted to share my family with her. I wanted her to know what she created. What may of been one of the hardest moments of her life made MY life possible. And for that I will be forever and ever grateful for her.

"My journey to find my adoptive family was long. It was frustrating. I can tell you there were many times I was so angry and upset I wanted to quit. But I didn't give up. There were dead ends after dead ends. Many low points and not too many highs. I met some of the most wonderful people on my journey - Ones that feel like my family. Ultimately, after more than 15 years, I handed over my file to a 'search angel' and within 5 hours on September 19, 2016 I found the impossible; my biological family.

"I can truly say everything in life happens for a reason. Had I found them 15 years ago my story would be completely different. I wasn't ready then. I am ready now.

"I have TWO sisters.

"I have a niece. I have aunts. I have uncles. I have so many cousins.

"I have Nancy. (My birth mom)

"But more importantly I have LOVE. And you know what I have learned in all of this.... your heart is big enough.

"My Mom & Dad never wavered in their support for finding my birth mom. They were never jealous. They were supportive and encouraging. They were excited! When my tree got so confusing they came over and we sat down as a family to try and get it all straight. They were the ones that taught me your heart is big enough for one more, always big enough for one more.

"You know when you get married and you gain a mother-in-law & father-in-law? Well that's just what I gained. I gained a bonus family when I found my biological family. I gained a Nancy. I gained two sisters. I gained love.

"My story {our story} is unique. I have been graciously welcomed by people 3 months ago didn't know I existed and have been lovingly accepted by those that did know.

"Has my journey been easy? No. Have I cried? More than I have in my entire life. Would I change a thing? Not a chance in the world.

"I love my life. I love my story. I love adoption." -Katie

Link to original Facebook post

Where are you going?

I'm not a huge fan of vague Facebook posts but A LOT has happened in the last month that the question "Where are you going?" is truly a loaded question. I have always been a fan of blogging. It helped me get through IVF. It helped me inform people on my surgery. And it helped me emotionally talk it out. When this all started a few weeks ago Todd said 'Katie you need to write this down! You need to blog this.' Its been on my to-do list. I'm in the car now for 8 hours so what better time than to tell my story....

Many of you know, but some of you may not. I was adopted as an infant (12 days old). So yes, you can imagine where this post is headed... This is a journey that started a long LONG time ago. Let me answer a few questions.

Have you always known you were adopted? Yes, I have known my whole life. There was no finding out in 4th grade or high school. I've always known. It was just as normal to me as you having a belly button... I was adopted. I didn't know any different.

Do your parents know you were interested in your biological family? Yes. They have always known I have had a curiosity about where I came from. They have been supportive. They have been kind. They have even been excited!

Why? I've always wondered what it would be like to sit in the same room with someone who looks like me. Someone who has the same eyes/facial structure/looks. I've never had that. Having our first child was a HUGE deal for me. I was so excited to see something that was apart of me. MY DNA. And then Cooper was born..... and he was a spitting image of Todd. Go figure! HA. I adore my boys and wouldn't change a single thing about them.

I am not looking for a replacement. I have two wonderful parents. They are and will always be my mom & dad. The best. The only ones I need. BUT without my biological parents I wouldn't be here today. I've always wanted to just say 'Thank you'.

See I was born in 1982. And lets be real - times were a little different back then. The stigma of an out of wedlock pregnancy - how easy it would of been to have an abortion - just not the same as today. And I was not there (well technically i was but you know what i mean) I did not walk in their shoes. I don't know what their lives were like back then and I am not one to judge. From my perspective I am where I am suppose to be and grateful everyday for the gift they both gave to me. I have no hate, anger or heartache. I do not think of the what-could of been's - I think of all that has happened and how lucky I am to of been apart of it. I have MY family. I love MY family. But I also have roots that always have been a part of me and as long as I can remember I knew someday I would find those answers......

So Today, Todd, Cooper, Corbin and I are going to Houston, Texas. I will be meeting my older biological 1/2 sister today. Saturday I will be meeting several Aunts, Uncles & cousins. A family, a month ago that did not know I existed but have graciously opened their hearts and lives to include me in it. How lucky am I? I have a SISTER. When I spoke to my 93 year old grandfather on the phone a week ago and we were talking about it all (he is so excited and intrigued by the whole thing) he stops me mid sentence after I said 'my sister' and he goes 'Kate - It is so weird to hear you say that!' (with a smile in his voice). I love this all.

I will share more of my journey and how I came to find them soon. I am still not in contact with all my biological family. I want to protect those that may not know. I want to share my journey - I do - and I will in time.

A few questions I know you may have to clear a few things up. This is my biological fathers side of the family. He died in 1985 in a motorcycle accident. I have not spoken yet to my biological mother.

More later. But for now be thinking about us this weekend. Its going to be one for the books! love you all!

I'll leave you with a text I received from a dear friend this morning.

Know that whatever you find and whoever you are related to that you are loved by so many.Its a journey above all that your kids are witnessing. Its the human journey that in itself the driving force of humanity. To know, to love, to be.